The Horrorscope - Never on a Sunday / by Frixos Masouras

We love horror and we praise it wherever possible. But it has to be said that from all the films that went wrong in the world, BAD horror films almost always top the list of "Holy shit, that sucked so bad!".

From murderous fridges to Leprechauns, we have had some unbelievable crazy horror films gracing our screens. Regardless of the genre, if the writing is abysmal then you are most likely to end up with a film that sometimes it's "so bad, it's good" or just flat out a waste of film/memory. 

Granted, "gems" like Sharknado have their own place somewhere but that's mainly because the film doesn't take itself seriously at all therefore you can excuse some incredibly tedious acting which is purposely displayed at times or just flat out natural in the case of... I am sure you know whom I speak of (regarding Sharknado). There is nothing wrong with writing a silly story with horror elements just for laughs, but when you are going after "dread and fear", horrible performances more often than not just clatter everything into a steaming pile of goo.

For starters, it is very difficult to create a villain out of a fridge or a bed (both have been done...), especially when compared to an undead revenant like Jason Voorhees or any sort of demon (although 'demons' can be minefields. If pulled off badly, it goes sour fast!). This is where Hitchcock's mastery shines yet again since he was the first to avoid using aliens, demons and monsters when he gave us The Birds. Granted, he did not write the story which was a script by Evan Hunter based on an original story by Daphne Du Maurier but he delivered a chilling film where the main villain was some seriously angry birds (dammit... pun?). 

Animals have had their limelight in the horror genre with piranhas, crocodiles, parasites and sharks rising to glory and fame only to drop flat again continuously. It's been a bumpy right for the fauna of earth but we got to keep some amazing films featuring the cast of every National Geographic, Animal Planet and Discovery special. I have mentioned some amazing and recent shark films in the Horror Renaissance article and we are still on the lookout for any other noteworthy animal-villain horror films. I've personally had a soft spot (see:trauma) every since watching Jaws at an extremely tender age. But what to do, I love films.

As far as bad performances go, this begins even before the first shot is filmed. You have to be aware of who you are casting and why lest you end up someone who, well, can't really act that well. It doesn't all come down to whether you have a good Scream-Queen on board or a man who breathes heavily a lot. What is needed, almost always, is an actor/actress who can feel the story and "exist" within it in front of the rolling cameras. 

We'll take it easy for the rest of this Sunday as Project Semita will get some work done later while burning some midnight oil. Because all great horror stories are written at night...said noone ever!

- Frixos Masouras 2014