I can’t be alone in this, you too must see potential film characters everywhere you look. Heroes, damsels, evil geniuses and many other archetypes are hanging around us just waiting to be cast in the role of their lives (in some cases, those villains are very real but I’ll avoid them for the sake of this list). Since “lists” are easier to digest, here’s our “happy readers meal” version of a list comprised completely from public figures that we could lift as-is from their everyday (real) life and drop them in a movie as villains!
Before we get going with this list I need to clarify a few things. 1) The appearance of these individuals only fuels the role they are destined for. Whether you consider them ugly or not is your business, not mine. I simply selected them from the top of my head because they have that certain “vibe” to their characters. If they look the part, it’s a bonus and not a requirement. 2) I considered actors to be off limits here seeing how it’s their job to transform into villains in the first place, right? Right! 3) A golden rule I set down before starting my “research” was that I would steer clear of any big political figures. Clearly there IS a political figure on the list but he is not big nor is he making decisions that are currently bringing death upon children in some poor country in the world (you DO know that’s a thing right? Right…).
On with the show:
1. Donatella Versace
Whether you agree with the way this fashion magnate dealt with the process of aging or not, you must understand that this is one classy lady… I think. But in that regard it doesn’t matter what I think! She has the name and the looks that fit the bill perfectly for what could possibly be a brilliant Bond villain. I can see it!
She would definitely pull a female Goldfinger (Auricia Goldfinger perhaps!) off with incredible accuracy, seeing how bringing back Bond villains is the norm now. And that’s not a complaint in the least. I mean, Christoph Walz? HECK, YES!
2. Yannis Varoufakis
As stated in the intro, I wanted to avoid big political figures but I simply could not resist this man’s devilish charms! Just look at him. He has that mad glint in his eye, that “I know more than you do” grin on his face. He knows things and he is not afraid to use that knowledge to his benefit. Now just picture him, as-is, in Alan Rickman’s shoes as Hans Gruber in a remake of Die Hard. I can practically see half of you smiling just by picturing Varoufakis playing a German terrorist mastermind. Pure cinema gold I tell ya!
3. Arsene Wenger
That sharp stare, the permanently disdaining and disapproving look on his face. He knows you can do better, but no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to please him. I am completely sold that in a parallel universe somewhere, Arsenal’s manager has thrived as an actor playing solely roles of menacing evil sorcerers that harness the souls of the dead in order to fuel their undead legions.
If only he looked the part…oh yeah, here’s a picture of the evil sorcerer from the Mortal Kombat universe, Quan Chi. You know, just for reference…
4. Bob Geldof
Does Bob Geldof know how to Bob Geldof? Did Bob Geldof ever actually Bob Geldof? We will never know. What we do know however is that in the next Mad Max film (not Fury Road) he would be at home as the chieftain of a desert roadie gang.
Now, again, a small select few of you out there are smiling here. Why? Because you are thinking how a man who demanded 100.000 Australian dollars (plus luxury hotel rooms and air-travel expenses) to speak at a poverty convention would nail an Australian dystopian film villain. Yeap, Bob Geldof definitely doesn’t know how to Bog Geldof.
5. Carlos Sainz
This is two-time world rallying champion Carlos Sainz. I have met him in person and let me tell you, he is as scary as he looks. Drag-and-drop him in any film involving the South American drug cartels and bam. Insta-Drug lord! He is nicknamed King Carlos after all therefore it’s all practically planned out. I am not sure how racist typecasting a Spaniard as a cocaine baron is, but I thought I’d just throw this out there. Cocaine Carlos could work as a name! Has a nice ring to it. What? It’s still racist? Oh, fine…
6. Conor McGregor
It’s practically unfair to include the “Notorious” one in this list seeing how he literally kicks ass for a living. The Irish sensation is currently taking the mixed martial-arts world by storm with his wit, insane speed and accuracy in the octagon while channelling a hilarious amount of Brad Pitt’s Mickey O’Neil from Snatch. And he does so effortlessly. Need a crazy villain who could only lose a fight in a film if the hero/es tricked him? Yeah, just call Conor. But don’t bet on him losing…
7. Tracy Emin
I am a sucker for slasher films so I could not complete this list with at least one public figure to hold that famous kitchen knife up and go nuts on some campers! So heads-up. If there’s a remake of the original Friday the 13th in the works, I found someone who would absolutely nail Jason’s mother. Perhaps both literally and figuratively (if she so pleases!). I can only speak of her abilities to slash and slaughter, seeing how this is exactly what she seems to be doing to art…
Now, you can’t fool me! You definitely have some of these of your own so please drop them right below in the comment section and don’t forget to like our page on Facebook! We promise to kill your time swiftly and entertainingly!